The Lee family has seen happier days. It is definitely time to move out of this house and start over somewhere else. God's timing is impeccable. The month of October always seems like a trying month. I really hate halloween. Poor Emma was scared by a witch at the grocery store a couple days ago. I never thought about it until I was a mother, but honestly those scary costumes need to go away until trick or treat. If you MUST wear one at all. I'm brought back to wonderful childhood memories of previous October 31st. Mom picked out a new board game for the family which we played until it got dark. Then we roasted marshmellows and drank hot cider. I looked forward to that night as much as any other kid and my memories of it are probably a lot more exciting to re-live.
I have empty nest syndrome this month coupled with mourning for the loss of our little Mowg. Mowgli had a heart disease that we didn't know about until it was too late. We had to put him down last week. It was a very hard time for the whole family. This was the first pet that Jason really called his own that he had lost and it hit him pretty hard. I'm so thankful for my husband. Even though he was mourning as much as the rest of the family he pulled himself together, wiped his tears and took care of the rest of us. He made a lovely grave for Mowg. We buried Mowgli in a blanket so he seemed comfortable. Jason sent him off with his stuffed person doll that he used to sleep with, I threw in some string which was his favorite game, and Emma tossed in some plastic flowers. We topped the grave with rocks shaped like a heart and then put logs around the rocks in the same shape. I put another plastic flower in the center so people would recognize it as a grave and hopefully not disturb it. We felt bad that we had to bury him someplace that we would not be staying at.
Mowgli was a lot of things for us. When we were at the vet clinic I could tell the doctor was going to tell us it would be best if he was put down. I could tell she was trying to think of a nice way to put it. I started crying before she even said it. I tried to think of ways to keep him alive and not in pain, but there just wasn't a way. The vet gave us a moment a lone with Mowgli. We told Emma that he had to go bye-bye and that he wasn't going to go home with us. When the vet came back in, before she even said anything Emma hugged Mowgli tight and told the vet, "NO! Dont' take Mowg." It was very sad. Although, Emma did not fully understand what was going on, she saw her parents crying and telling her Mowgli was leaving and that she understood.
Jason had to pry me away from Mowg when it was time to go. It was a devastating feeling leaving him on the table. The only thing that really pulled me away with Jason was knowing that he was in pain and keeping him alive would only pain him more.
As the days passed, Jason and I realized how much Mowgli was a part of our lives and we didn't even know it. He was the ice breaker in an awkward silence. Jason and I used to ask each other, "Have you smelled your kitten today?" Part of Jason's heart was broken because he no longer had a kitten to smell. Mowgli was the blame for every excuse. When I wanted to do something that Jason didn't want to do I would say Mowgli wanted to do it. When we wanted to go out but didn't have a babysitter we would say Mowgli could babysit. When we left the house we put Mowgli in charge. And we did all those things so often that once he was gone it really was like there was a piece missing in our family. He truly was a part of our family and not just a pet. It's a mystery why God took him so young. I have slept worse with out him between my legs at night. Bagheera still doesn't eat from his side of the dish. We are all suffering with out him.
To make things even worse, the campgrounds we are staying at do not allow dogs of Admiral's size so we had to re-home him. We spoiled Admiral rotten the last week that we had him. He has the worst puppy dog eyes you've ever seen and it was heart breaking to see him go. We gave him to a military family. The wife had every intention of spoiling him just as much and she had a son about Emma's age who loved dogs so we felt very comfortable with the situation. The family came over and spent a good amount of time playing with Admiral and I showed them how to train him. Admiral seemed to really like them and jumped right into their car so we felt comfortable as he drove away. Even still, it was depressing going back into the house. The place in the corner of the room that used to hold his bed was empty. When I let the dogs I'm boarding out to go potty I expected to hear that big giant galloping over from his bed, but I didn't. It's so hard getting used to a valued pet in the family being gone. When we first talked about moving into the RV we had no intentions of getting rid of any of our animals. Now we were down to just the one cat and a chinchilla. I thought I would go crazy! I was used to being always surrounded with animals begging for attention. It's so weird not having Admiral's big slobbery nose in our faces all the time or him laying his head on our laps while we eat. We'll miss the big lug.
I was really struggling with empty nest so Jason and I couldn't resist when we saw someone was giving away a little orange kitten. Emma was asking about Mowgli a lot and we had always wanted to get her a cat of her own. Jason didn't want three cats in the RV so we took this opportunity to get her a kitten. The joy of seeing her face light up when ever Shere Khan is in her arms is just priceless. Shere Khan could never even attempt coming close to replacing Super man cat, Mowgli; but he's great for Emma and he helps fill in a small part of the gap we are all feeling.
We will be selling the chinchilla and taking with us to the RV just two cats. I think this has been the hardest sacrifice for me with this decision to move. Washing dishes by hand I could handle though its annoying having dishes on the counter ALL the time. Taking my laundry out of the home to wash it is inconvenient, but I was fine with the change. But losing my pets and knowing our living space is too small to start another collection is just heart-wrenching painful. I'm just thankful for Jason's strong arm that I can always lean on, his strong guidance and leading of our home, and the prayers that I know are always going up for me and my family in this time.
Yesterday, we saw a glimmer of hope for the future when my mom called to tell us some very exciting news about brother David. It's times like that when I know God is still looking out for us, Amadeus, Mowgli, Admiral and all the changes in our life. It may be silly but I truly believe a cat like Mowg, and all those baby bunnies I lost as a kid, and my old dog Dekker are all waiting for me in my mansion in Heaven. I know animals don't have souls but I also know God knows my heart and I know he'll have my mansion full of pets.
Bagheera was always more adventurous in the beginning.
But he had his moments as well.
From kitten to cat.
"Finally, some space to stretch out!"
Always on the alert
Everybody's body...even if it was grudgingly.
He loved Bagheera, though always.
And she always got lots of hugs she wasn't necessarily wanting.
