Tribute to Mowgli

Bagheera was always more adventurous in the beginning.
But he had his moments as well.

From kitten to cat.



"Finally, some space to stretch out!"
Always on the alert
Everybody's body...even if it was grudgingly.
He loved Bagheera, though always.
And she always got lots of hugs she wasn't necessarily wanting.

We love you and miss you Mowgli cub!

Tough Month

The Lee family has seen happier days. It is definitely time to move out of this house and start over somewhere else. God's timing is impeccable. The month of October always seems like a trying month. I really hate halloween. Poor Emma was scared by a witch at the grocery store a couple days ago. I never thought about it until I was a mother, but honestly those scary costumes need to go away until trick or treat. If you MUST wear one at all. I'm brought back to wonderful childhood memories of previous October 31st. Mom picked out a new board game for the family which we played until it got dark. Then we roasted marshmellows and drank hot cider. I looked forward to that night as much as any other kid and my memories of it are probably a lot more exciting to re-live.

I have empty nest syndrome this month coupled with mourning for the loss of our little Mowg. Mowgli had a heart disease that we didn't know about until it was too late. We had to put him down last week. It was a very hard time for the whole family. This was the first pet that Jason really called his own that he had lost and it hit him pretty hard. I'm so thankful for my husband. Even though he was mourning as much as the rest of the family he pulled himself together, wiped his tears and took care of the rest of us. He made a lovely grave for Mowg. We buried Mowgli in a blanket so he seemed comfortable. Jason sent him off with his stuffed person doll that he used to sleep with, I threw in some string which was his favorite game, and Emma tossed in some plastic flowers. We topped the grave with rocks shaped like a heart and then put logs around the rocks in the same shape. I put another plastic flower in the center so people would recognize it as a grave and hopefully not disturb it. We felt bad that we had to bury him someplace that we would not be staying at.

Mowgli was a lot of things for us. When we were at the vet clinic I could tell the doctor was going to tell us it would be best if he was put down. I could tell she was trying to think of a nice way to put it. I started crying before she even said it. I tried to think of ways to keep him alive and not in pain, but there just wasn't a way. The vet gave us a moment a lone with Mowgli. We told Emma that he had to go bye-bye and that he wasn't going to go home with us. When the vet came back in, before she even said anything Emma hugged Mowgli tight and told the vet, "NO! Dont' take Mowg." It was very sad. Although, Emma did not fully understand what was going on, she saw her parents crying and telling her Mowgli was leaving and that she understood.

Jason had to pry me away from Mowg when it was time to go. It was a devastating feeling leaving him on the table. The only thing that really pulled me away with Jason was knowing that he was in pain and keeping him alive would only pain him more.

As the days passed, Jason and I realized how much Mowgli was a part of our lives and we didn't even know it. He was the ice breaker in an awkward silence. Jason and I used to ask each other, "Have you smelled your kitten today?" Part of Jason's heart was broken because he no longer had a kitten to smell. Mowgli was the blame for every excuse. When I wanted to do something that Jason didn't want to do I would say Mowgli wanted to do it. When we wanted to go out but didn't have a babysitter we would say Mowgli could babysit. When we left the house we put Mowgli in charge. And we did all those things so often that once he was gone it really was like there was a piece missing in our family. He truly was a part of our family and not just a pet. It's a mystery why God took him so young. I have slept worse with out him between my legs at night. Bagheera still doesn't eat from his side of the dish. We are all suffering with out him.

To make things even worse, the campgrounds we are staying at do not allow dogs of Admiral's size so we had to re-home him. We spoiled Admiral rotten the last week that we had him. He has the worst puppy dog eyes you've ever seen and it was heart breaking to see him go. We gave him to a military family. The wife had every intention of spoiling him just as much and she had a son about Emma's age who loved dogs so we felt very comfortable with the situation. The family came over and spent a good amount of time playing with Admiral and I showed them how to train him. Admiral seemed to really like them and jumped right into their car so we felt comfortable as he drove away. Even still, it was depressing going back into the house. The place in the corner of the room that used to hold his bed was empty. When I let the dogs I'm boarding out to go potty I expected to hear that big giant galloping over from his bed, but I didn't. It's so hard getting used to a valued pet in the family being gone. When we first talked about moving into the RV we had no intentions of getting rid of any of our animals. Now we were down to just the one cat and a chinchilla. I thought I would go crazy! I was used to being always surrounded with animals begging for attention. It's so weird not having Admiral's big slobbery nose in our faces all the time or him laying his head on our laps while we eat. We'll miss the big lug.

I was really struggling with empty nest so Jason and I couldn't resist when we saw someone was giving away a little orange kitten. Emma was asking about Mowgli a lot and we had always wanted to get her a cat of her own. Jason didn't want three cats in the RV so we took this opportunity to get her a kitten. The joy of seeing her face light up when ever Shere Khan is in her arms is just priceless. Shere Khan could never even attempt coming close to replacing Super man cat, Mowgli; but he's great for Emma and he helps fill in a small part of the gap we are all feeling.

We will be selling the chinchilla and taking with us to the RV just two cats. I think this has been the hardest sacrifice for me with this decision to move. Washing dishes by hand I could handle though its annoying having dishes on the counter ALL the time. Taking my laundry out of the home to wash it is inconvenient, but I was fine with the change. But losing my pets and knowing our living space is too small to start another collection is just heart-wrenching painful. I'm just thankful for Jason's strong arm that I can always lean on, his strong guidance and leading of our home, and the prayers that I know are always going up for me and my family in this time.

Yesterday, we saw a glimmer of hope for the future when my mom called to tell us some very exciting news about brother David. It's times like that when I know God is still looking out for us, Amadeus, Mowgli, Admiral and all the changes in our life. It may be silly but I truly believe a cat like Mowg, and all those baby bunnies I lost as a kid, and my old dog Dekker are all waiting for me in my mansion in Heaven. I know animals don't have souls but I also know God knows my heart and I know he'll have my mansion full of pets.

Camper livin' update

I sent out a camper update to most of our family and friends, but for those of you who only keep up with the Lee family via this blog I will let you know where we are at with the camper situation. We went to Eugene, OR a couple weekends ago to see the RV we were really interested in. It turned out to be a VERY nice camper for a little amount of money (in comparison to others we had looked at). The owner was super nice. She paid for our hotel room and took us to lunch and a little out door cafe. I had a turkey sandwich that was to die for. So, we bought the camper. It has a loft in the back with floor space underneath. That will be Emma's room. It's 36 foot with 3 slides. We are very excited about this move, only 30 more days. It honestly can not happen soon enough. The Eugene RV dealership is holding the RV for us until December 1st and is brining it up for us then. Actually, since Jason has LASIK November 30th, we'll probably see if they can bring the camper sooner as he'll be down for the count for a few days afterwards and I have no intentions of moving all these boxes on my own. For those of you who still think we're crazy, you would never believe how many people are doing this now a days. In this economy, RV living is the way to go if you have a small family.

12 October 2011

I can't believe how one day Emma will seem like my little 2 year old and the next day she really lets her colors shine! She is so smart! I honestly fear I will not be able to keep up with her. I want to always be stimulating her mind. This morning we had to leave the house at 0930 because someone was coming to look at it for possible rental. The showing only takes 10-15 minutes and I don't have the car so we just walked down to a near by grassy area with a basket ball court. The basket ball court was fenced off so I figured that would be a good place to let Admiral off leash since I couldn't find his training collar. We found a deflated volleyball in there and I threw it around for Admiral. As I was doing this Emma came up to me and asked me to sit down with her near a crack in the pavement. There was a loose piece of pavement that she was jiggling and trying to pull out of the crack. She asked me to help her get it out. It was definitely not going to come out, but she would not have understood that so I told her to go get a stick that was near by. She did not even give me the stick when she got back. She just sat down and started using it like a tool to get the piece of pavement unstuck. She knew why I had asked her to get the stick and started using it with out me even having to show her. It was so amazing to me. My first thought was "she's just like a monkey, using the tools around him" ha ha Through out our time at the basket ball court she took the stick and dug around at loose pieces of concrete. Sometimes she got them out and sometimes she didn't.

Then, I was further impressed because I started kicking the ball around. I asked Emma to kick it back to me not expecting anything. She went right up to it like any professional soccer player and kicked it pretty good right back to me. It went maybe 8 feet. I remembered Jason showing her how to kick a ball at the park, but I had no idea she could have remembered that only having ever done it once before.

Emma asked if we could have ice cream. My watch told me it should be safe to go back home so we headed back. On our way we came up to this tree. Some rail road ties were lined up next to it. Emma started walking on the rail road ties and didn't want to go so I let her do that for a while. Then she started seeming interested in the tree. I could tell kids had climbed on the tree before because they had nailed pieces of wood up further on the tree to help them since it did not have any low branches. I tried to get Emma let me help her climb up the tree, but she would have nothing to do with it. So I set her down and said we had to go. She suddenly decided she did want to climb the tree, but she wanted to do it on her own. I showed her where to put her hands and feet and acted as a spotter; but she climbed about 4 feet of the tree all on her own. I was so proud of her and I could tell she was proud of herself too.

When we got home I gave her some left over ice cream from Dairy Queen. She didn't want that and kept asking for the blue one. I looking in the freezer confused and sure enough found a blue pop cycle. How she even saw that I don't know. So I gave that to her and told her to eat it on the fire place. She started eating it as she watched me get a sandwich around for my lunch. She said she wanted a cheese sandwich so I started to get her stuff out. Then she changed her mind so I put her stuff back. Then, after inhaling mayo from off my index finger and nearly choking to death Emma decided she DID want that cheese sandwich after all. She climbed up on the counter leaving her little foot prints as she went. I got her stuff back out of the pantry and started to make it. She was very concerned about the mayo situation. She set her pop cycle down on the counter and started telling me to put mayo on her bread. I said "I'm getting to it already, would you hold your horses." Upon saying that Emma picked her pop cycle back up. I didn't think anything of it until she licked it a couple times and then handed it to me and said, "Here I'm done with my horses."

I guess I'm not ready

I woke up feeling really happy this morning. So, I decided not to take any of my depression medicine. I thought "I'M CURED!" An hour and a half later I almost cried because the RV we really liked was already pending sale. And in a 10 minute increment of time I had nearly had a nervous break down about that, missing the Navy and my Master Chief, missing the Gunsmoke house my Dad built for our family, missing my friend Dana and remembering how she taught me how to make ramen noodles. (Don't laugh that I didn't know). Now I feel numb again and feeling more depressed that I wasn't cured. Oh, well. Back on the medicine I guess. I have plans to get out of the house and take Emma to the indoor play ground. Our evening plans of looking at campers are foiled so we'll probably just team up to clean the house instead. And I guess we're back to hoping for the 2011 we were wanting before.

Something has just been different

Earlier I posted about Emma's morning. I said it was not really any different than any other morning and it wasn't in the fact that Emma is always doing something silly and spontaneous. (I wonder where she gets that from?) But, it was different in so many ways. I woke up happier than usual and more energetic. It was weird because I had a headache which normally really puts me in the slumps. It was 1400 (2PM) when I thought it was 1100. (Weird thing #1) I did not eat anything except for crackers in the morning with my water. (Weird thing #2) I was extremely energetic all day. (Weird thing #3) In fact, it is after 0300 now and I have not slept. (Weird thing #4) We ordered pizza tonight for dinner which had been on my mind. (Not so weird) I had to go take care of some dogs. The whole family went. When we came back from doing the dogs, Jason was tired. He had watch so I suggested he go to bed. I'm trying to get together a huge garage sale for this weekend so I stayed up. (Relatively normal) I let Emma stay up too.(More weird than normal) She thought she was so cool. I left her watching a movie while I tucked Jason in. When I came back she told me I could go back and sleep with Dad.(Predictable) I wondered what she would do if we ever just left her on her own one night with out putting her to bed. I'm sure she would eventually just end up in our bed.(Random thought)

The guinea pigs cages were severely over due on a cage cleaning so nearing 1030 PM I started cleaning them out.(Weird thing #5) I couldn't help but notice the bunny just sitting still in his cage. I jiggled his cage and still he seemed lifeless.(Weird thing #6) I was afraid to touch him. Too often in my years I've reached to snuggle with a bunny only to find a cold, firm body instead. So, as horrible as I felt, I woke Jason to inspect the situation. (Bad decision) Of course, the bunny was just fine and I felt even more horrible for having woken Jason up. (Embarrassing) Thirty minutes later Jason had to go to watch. I didn't stay up too much later. I got in bed and watched some instant play. My body was not feeling tired at all and I honestly did not want to go to sleep. (Weird thing #7) It was like a mixture of being really excited for something going on the next day and not being able to sleep; and, yet also fearful that something was going to go wrong and I couldn't let myself fall asleep.

Emma had decided she wanted to sleep with the bunny. (Weird, but not surprised) She had to sleep in her room tonight since Jason had watch. I thought, "What harm could come from it? She would probably sleep with out night mares and worse case scenario she would get peed on." She went to bed with out a single fuss(Weird thing #8) and was just happy as a clam when I told her she could keep the bunny. Around 0230 I thought I might as well go out and walk on the treadmill.(Weird thing #9) Jason would be home soon. As I was getting up Emma suddenly started crying out, "Where's the bunny?"(not what I was expecting) He had hopped down while she was asleep. I put him back in the bed and explained while he might jump down onto the rug he wouldn't leave her room. She seemed satisfied with that answer, hugged him close to her and laid back down. God has really blessed us with the most patient rabbit EVER! Earlier when I thought he had been dead I held him in my arms like a baby, on his back, for several minutes and he just laid there content. Didn't try to get away and closed his eyes as if he was really enjoying the attention. It is a sad thought for me to not have him when we move into our camper (as we are pretty serious about doing).

Anyway, (it's late, and I know I'm rambling....sorry) I got up to walk. I walked for 20 minutes which is how long it should have taken Jason to get home. But he never came home.(Not weird if you keep reading) My mind wondered as I thought the worse. But I shook away the feelings. Admiral and I stood outside for a while trying to decipher what kind of animal was making this weird barking noise.(Weird thing #10) It couldn't have been a dog. If it was a dog, that is the weirdest bark I've ever heard. My best guess was some kind of raccoon or bird. But do raccoons bark? I suppose I should know the answer to that.

I felt hungry so I came in and had some Kix that the Craigs had just given us earlier that night. They were good. It was like my dinner since dinner was like my lunch. I'm actually still hungry, though. Cereal never did fill me up very good. Except grain nuts. They are filling. (Rambling again. Now you all know what it's like to be my diary ha ha)

It is almost 40 after 3 now and Jason still isn't home. It just dawned on me that his watch actually probably went until 4.(Duh) That would make more sense having a 4 hour watch instead of a 3 hour watch. I'm starting to think I really should go to sleep.(ha ha) But, then, in a few minutes Jason would come home and I would wake up again. So, I might as well just stick it out until he does get home.

I don't know. Today was just a weird day for me. Ten weird things in fact. Jason is home now. He laughed at my ridiculous evening. I still don't feel like sleeping but suppose I must.

(DNP: Did not Proofread)

Emma's day so far

Emma has been sleeping at the foot of our bed on her mattress because it keeps her from having nightmares. This morning I was blessed to wake up two hours later than usual to Emma singing away. I tried to act like I was asleep because I wanted to just enjoy her song. But Emma pokes her little head up from time to time to see if I'm awake. She saw my eyes were open and she got the biggest glowing smile on her face and said "Oh momma! You woke up." She's so sweet to patiently let me sleep. I thank Jason for teaching her to respect mommy's sleep. Then, as she always does, she asked "Where's Dad?" I told her he was at work as I do every morning and then Emma started playing her little game that she likes to play. She said, "He's on the couch." I laugh and say, "No, he's at work." She says, "Daddy's in the bed." I laugh and tickle her and say "No, silly, he's at work." She says "Daddy's at the counter." Then I tickle tickle tickle and give her a hug and say "Daddy's at work." The tickle, tickle, hug seems to be the end of her game.

I was further surprised when I wanted to get up and get around and Emma said, "Don't get up." Usually I try to lay around in bed and Emma is egging me to get up. She bring me my clothes and tries to pull me out of bed. I was thankful she wanted to let me rest, but I needed to get up and take care of my headache.

Emma and I went into the bathroom where I did my morning routine (which this morning mainly just consisted of putting my contacts in). My headache was worse and I was waiting for a phone call from my mother-in-law so I decided (since I had Emma's permission) I would just get back in bed. As I lay waiting there for my phone call, I watched Emma through a mirror that viewed the bathroom. She was putting her finger on my contact case and then touching her eye lid (as if to put on her contacts). She did that to both eyes. Then she started filling the case with water, dumping it out, and filling it again. She then realized the case was very similar to a small cup and she decided to start drinking water from the contact case. This really tickled her as a really fun activity so she filled up the case and brought it out to ask me if I wanted some. I said "No, thank you." She said "No?" I said, "No, thank you." She said, "Ok." And set the case down on the bedside table. Then she stepped back looked at it and said, "Oh" and then picked it up and moved it to the coaster. (YES! My training is paying off!)

Karen called so I got up to pace the house as I always do. Emma followed me with her contact case drinking and playing around with the water. Then she got the bright idea that she wanted to put juice in it. I told her to wait until I was off the phone. So she put the case down and started eating chips. She took a handful of chips and then told me she was done with the chips. So, while still talking on the phone, I rolled up the bag, put a clip on it and put them away. As soon as Emma was done eating her handful she said, "More chips?" I whispered "I thought you were done eating chips?" She said, "More chips." So I got them back out and set them on the table. She took another handful and said, "Done with chips." I just rolled my eyes and whispered back "If you want more then they'll be there, if you don't want more you don't have to have any." She was satisfied with that answer.

I was pacing the living room talking with Karen about our camper living idea. Emma suddenly rushed up to me very concerned. "Mowgli threw up. Mowgli threw up." I told her it was ok and that I would clean it up in a minute. But, as I went back to my phone conversation Emma couldn't get over the throw up. She kept running past it and talking about how it was there. (Too much Mr. Monk, I think for her) Then she leaned on the couch and lifted her foot and asked me to clean the throw up off her foot. I just laughed and said, "Emma, if you don't want it to get on your foot, then don't run on top of it. I'm talking to Nana, I'll clean it in a minute." She ran around on the side of her foot for the rest of my conversation. As soon as I hung up she ran back to the couch, lifted her foot and said, "Clean throw up?" (I wonder if Karen had any idea all this was going on as we talked.)

I cleaned everything up. Then as Emma's memory served, she remembered I had promised to fill the contact case with juice. I had hoped she had forgotten but it was the first thing she asked after cleaning up the throw up. I filled it with juice and then proceeded to take care of my head ache. Emma wanted a fruit snack only because she happened to see them in the drawer when I grabbed for the crackers. So, I gave her a packet. She climbed up on the counter to eat them (as she usually does) I got my fiber water prepared. Emma helped me stir my fiber and of course ate some of my crackers. I turned around to get my medicine and when I came back she was dipping her cracker in my water. I got her a cup of her own for dipping. She watched me take my pills and mimicked my nasty face I made. Then asked "Was the medicine good?" I said, yes because she was smiling but really I hate taking pills. I gave her one of her gummy vitamins which she calls her medicine. Then she proceeded to continue dipping crackers in her water.

This mornings activities are really not too different from any other day, but Emma just seemed so cute and grown up today I really wanted to record it. So I went to get the computer. No sooner had I sat down and logged in, Emma started complaining about having spilled something. I didn't jump up right away. I figured it was just a couple drips. But she wouldn't stop talking about it so I looked up and sure enough she had completely dumped her entire cup of cracker water all over the counter and was dancing in the puddle making it splash. I went over to clean it up. Emma tried to help by using her fruit snack packet as a wipe. I put some paper towels over the water and I said, "Emma, could you try not making a mess at least one time a day?" She didn't have a response. She stepped on the paper towels to try and dry her feet. It was not productive AT all. I picked her up, dried her feet on a towel, took her wet diaper off, and told her to go get some panties. (She's been doing extremely well with potty training.)

I sat down to begin writing this post to tell you of these amazing Emma Accomplishments. Emma came running back, happy as could be, holding up the bottoms to her swimsuit and said, "I got these." I just laughed and said, "Ok, sure." Then she took Admiral back to the room to play.

Now I'm finally done writing this post.