Day 1

I dropped Jason off at his ship this morning. The weird part is, he doesn't actually leave the pier until tomorrow, but he's on duty so I won't see him anyway. We had a very nice date night last night which brought us home later than planned and he still had packing to do. I had a pit in my stomach and the feeling like I was losing my best friend all morning and even now.
Jason and I pulled the mattress from our bed out into the living room the last couple days so we could relax and watch movies and we didn't feel like putting it back last night so now for another month or so I'll be sleeping in the living room. I can't move the mattress myself and I could ask the neighbor to come do it, but I'm actually going to give it a try sleeping in the living room. I don't really like going off in the dark to sleep by myself when Jason's gone and sleeping in the living room with the noise from the chinchilla and the cats will probably help me feel less alone anyway. I'll have my sister, Elizabeth, help me move it when she comes in August if not before then.
Now that Jason is gone, I have to do all those things that I usually just call his name for. For example, as soon as I came home, I started fiddling with the blankets in the living room and out runs a spider. It was small, but really ugly and had this weird hunch back thing going on. I vacuumed him up with my hand held vacuum and then dumped him in trash and then stomped on the trash to make sure he didn't crawl out. When it was all said and done I realized I was shaking like a leaf. Silly, I know. But I really hate spiders.
Every bone, muscle, and emotion in my body wants to just cuddle up in bed, eat chocolate, and sleep. But, Emma presses me onward. And the more onward I go the more I find clutter and dirt around the house that needs picked up. I relish in the time she is napping. I've never known such an energetic child. She hasn't realized that Jason is gone for a long time yet, obviously, but it won't be long before she starts asking me about him. I plan to show her lots of pictures and the only home video I could get out of my broken video camera. I really don't want him to be a stranger to her when he gets back.
I'm not overly sad or depressed. I'm enjoying spending some time with Emma, NOT having to pick up the house by the end of every day, spending less money, and getting back on the diet. But, the moments go by slowly and there isn't a one of them that goes by that I don't remember how much I miss him already. He's only been gone a few hours, but it's the very thought of not seeing him again for a while that dampens my spirits.
Anyway, today and tomorrow I still have off of work so I plan to just really relax, do the budget, get the groceries, and catch up on some tv shows with Christin.

Mommy does it to me so....

Thursday morning after we were done eating breakfast around the table Emma wanted to get up on my lap where she continued to grab my napkin and started wiping my lips for me. It was so cute and such a special moment for me. She was so concentrated and wiped around my mouth and then wiped my cheeks, looking like a little mom already with her pursed lips and look of overall concern for my cleanliness. When she was done I told her thank you and she leaned her head against mine where I kissed her ear. She must have liked that cuz she then sat back, wiped my face some more and then put her ear to my lips.

Toys for Maryland

When packing for MD I wanted to make sure I brought all the toys that would entertain Emma the longest. One lazy, hot afternoon when we were playing inside with the air conditioning I realized how random her toys (or interests if you will) really are. The toys she brought were a small green boat to play with in the pool, a small blue shovel, a play microphone, a small treasure box, her favorite book, her drool proof photo album, and two blue stuffed cat animals.
Each of these toys, on any given afternoon, she plays with for about five minutes (not different behavior than we are at home, though) and that adds up to about 40 minutes. When she's done playing with all that it's an active time for mom and dad keeping her entertained with other things she can play with and keeping her out of things she can't play with.
Grandma Karen helped a little by bringing a fun Doctor Seuss book for her when she came to visit.

Babysitter

I have acquired a new babysitter who is trying to earn money to move back home. So, she's available all the time which is great! But, she seems a little disturbed. She doesn't hardly say a word. She doesn't say anything to the small talk I try to make and she doesn't even nod her head or say "ok" when I tell her something about Emma. It's very strange. But she seems to do a good job with Emma. Last night, when I took her home, she did start a conversation by telling me that Emma had pulled the kitchen trash can out in to the living room. Literally, the whole trash can. LOL Can you just see my little Emma, no bigger than the trash can it's self pulling it out into the living room. What was the reason? I guess we'll never know.
What do you call the person who hires the babysitter? the Babysitter Hirerer? Anyway, I feel like I am a REAL babysitter hirerer now. Megan, though she's 18, can't drive so I have to pick her up and take her home. On the way home from a late night date I do kind of dread it, but once we are in the car heading back to her place I can't help but feel a rush of nostalgia. I remember when I was just a young teen, before a driver's license, and my babysitter hirerers had to come pick me up and take me home. It wasn't anything special per say, but I feel all grown up doing it myself now. I tell you, babysitters of today are certainly different. I remember babysitting for $2/hr. First time Megan sat for me I gave her what I thought was fair. But last night, Christin was going to bring Bella over as well so I let Megan know and she said, "Ok, but it will cost extra." I was so astonished. She charged us $7/hr for the two kids. Needless to say it cost us more to pay the babysitter than it did to go out and hang with friends. But, can you really put a price on a good night out? Jason was so sweet all night and we enjoyed our movie and friends so I guess it was worth it.

29 June 2010

I'm curious to know what Emma's nightly rituals will be as she gets older. She does the cutest things now. Sometimes if she's wearing a shirt that is too lose or if the tag bothers her she just takes it right off. Then she gets all her blankets and starts fluffing them and rearranging them just so around her body. When they are just right she lays down on them face first in the fetal position. I imagine she'll grow out of all that. Usually when I wake her up she's still on her tummy but her legs are stretched out and the blankets have been pushed aside.

Saturday Morning

I don't care a whole lot for food in general and even more so I don't care to prepare it. This morning I asked myself why. I came to a theory that it's the recipes. I don't want to have to find, read, understand, and make a recipe. That, and I've been a working mom since Emma was born. At the end of a working day I simply don't have the energy. But, from time to time (usually on a weekend) I have a morning full of energy. So, I literally cook up an entire day (sometimes more) meals. And you know, I actually enjoy the cooking when I'm energetic. And for the recipe part of it I simply don't follow one. Sure, I waste some food if it doesn't turn out. But, I also learn from my mistakes. I add whatever ingredients sound good and mix together some food that's been sitting and needs used up. I put it in casserole or stew format and away we eat. Jason has liked all of my concoctions though I must admit they shouldn't be used on any diet plans. This morning I remembered I've been wanting to make up some broccoli for Emma as she seems to like it when we go to a restaurant. And as all my recipes go, the first ingredient is cheese. Broccoli (boiled), velveeta cheese (melted) and 1/4 tsp of onion powder. I'm going to give it a taste now...hmm, I took two bites...surprisingly tasty! I love it actually. It gives broccoli a whole new meaning. Would one of my readers mind trying it and letting me know what you think? I'll give some to Emma with her lunch. Next, I need to whip up some pizza sauce. Because something that IS on my diet plan is English Muffin Pizza and I've been curious to give it a try. Better call Kim for one of those dreaded recipes. My mom passed around a great pizza sauce (which might have generated from Grandma actually). But don't worry, I'll still add my own touch.
P.S. I have to give my husband the credit for making me the least bit interested in concoctions. He is always doing new things with the meat on the grill. It was his example that got me started. And, the broccoli after taste makes me want more and more :) I also have no idea how to spell recipe so hopefully the spell check got it right.

For the love of shoes

I have every intention of living all my heel wearing dreams through Emma. I can't wear any shoes higher than 2 inches with out being taller than Jason. So, I have promptly given Emma all the shoe loving instructions that she needs. And, boy does she love her shoes. She wants them on her feet all the time. New shoes light up her face and she wants to put her new shoes on right away even if she's already wearing a pair. She looks at her feet while she walks (to the point of running into walls) so that she can watch her shoes. She tries to wear Daddy's and mine shoes all the time. If I'm not wearing shoes she brings me a pair (sometimes two shoes from two different pairs) so that I can put on a pair. And she gets upset if either of us are not wearing shoes. I'm relatively certain she can say shoe and says it when she wants to go outside. Heaven forbid if you try to take her shoes off before it's bed time. I can't wait until I can start buying her all the pretty heels! And the best part of it all....I have Jason's blessing on the matter :)

On another note: I was just telling Jason that I didn't really miss Emma's younger stages. As Emma grows I embrace it happily and don't really ever look back. But, one thing I realized I do miss is when she used to hum herself to sleep. When ever she was tired she would start humming in mono-tone until she was asleep. It was really cute and actually kind of soothing. Now she just whines when she's tired. Do we, as adults teach them to whine in our daily behavior? Hmm, something for me to ponder over. I must be so careful that Emma learns only good character traits from me even if it means acting from time to time in a way I wouldn't normally act. But, that should be a good thing for me. Fortunately, after having this very thought of missing her humming, though, she started doing it again. Probably because Daddy's been getting on her about not whining.