My Girls

When I watch other people's kids (which happens VERY infrequently) I realize how strict and firm I must seem to Emma and others who watch me around my kids. My mom has told me before that I sound mean and I scare children. My response was always, "Well, kids need to realize they can't get away with stuff." And having an education in dog training it's all too easy for me to see the similarities in child and dog "rearing." I also shrugged off my mom's comments because I often feel like Emma does not behave as well as I would like her too.....so I must not be too scary. (Of course I don't think scaring your kids is the way to obedience.)

I had a respectful fear of my dad. When he came home the house had better be clean and quiet. My mom used to tell us that while his job wasn't always physically taxing, his mind was working very hard. So when he came home we needed to be quiet and let his mind rest. We didn't mess around with my dad. We always did what he asked us to do on first command and if we tried to argue or talk back we got spanked. He expected us to be clean, thorough and intelligent. And I was in no means "ruined" by that life style as a kid. Now that I'm a mother I can see how nice it must have been for my mom and dad to have kids that they always trusted to obey.

On top of that, I'm also not a very patient person when it comes to kids. If I didn't make the mess I don't want to have to clean it up. So when a kid spills something because they were messing around at the table I get very frustrated. I've had Emma cleaning up her own spills for quite some time now. Yesterday, I told Emma not to let Jacey play in the water. Well, of course there's not a lot Emma can really do if Jacey does play in the water so I'm not sure what I expected. But, Jacey put her hands on the side of the kiddie pool that's full of water in my kitchen right now, and water started to spill out. I said, "Emma! Why did you let Jacey play in the water?" She said, "Can I clean it up with the mop since it was my fault? Pleeeaaaasssseeee?" I'm thankful she enjoys cleaning up her messes. (Or Jacey's messes...and technically my mess since I really should have been the one watching Jacey.)

Having been raised in the way that I was raised and my lack of patience when it comes to kids, has made me a very strict mother. I expect Emma to be mindful of what she (or Jacey) is doing. I expect her to clean up after herself, to get her own drinks, to pour her own cereal, to get ready for bed, to help me with Jacey, to learn to do things for herself, to learn to do things for Jacey.....I expect SO much from my little 4 year old. And I have to say, after realizing how much I truly expect from her, I'm SO proud of her. She does all this and more like it's just another day in the life of a 4 year old. Half the time Emma doesn't want my help. She wants to figure it out for herself. It was always my intention to make Emma self sufficient, to take care of her own problems and not to whine about things that don't go her way. Every day I feel like I'm failing until one day I have something to compare to and I realize she's well above and beyond the expected.

I'm so proud of my girls and for a moment I'm not beating myself up. Now if I could just do something about that attitude!