If I only had a maid...

I would not ask much from a maid. There are just a few certain things that would make my life easier if someone was helping me. Other things I simply don't like doing. She would dub as a nanny and she would either live in my house or live near. She would be dedicated to just my family although she would only work on call. She would go with me grocery shopping. Have you ever tried couponing with a 2 year old? My binder is very organized, but I'm new to the couponing business so I'm still not positive how it all works. I constantly feel like I'm holding people up in the isles looking for coupons or checking out the ads. I suppose a REAL couponer would have all that organized before leaving the house. But, I am a forgetful sort. There's no way I could get everything I needed or catch every deal with out bringing my whole binder along and checking it out as I go. This whole process would be so much easier if my "nanny" was with me taking care of Emma as we went, OR holding the binder.

My maid would also do my laundry. Or at the least, fold the clothes. I absolutely HATE that chore. My laundry is always so backed up. I try to do a load a day and that seems to help; but most of the time I forget to do a load and over time it builds up and then I don't want to get it started at all. Then, when I do finally do the laundry it all piles up in the basket until it's so over flowing that I never want to fold it. If I had a maid, she would definitely do the laundry. I'll put the laundry away if she just washes and folds it.

Lastly, if I had a maid, she would go to the mall with me because more often than not when I'm at the mall with Emma I always wish I could stop to watch a movie. Emma is almost ready to sit durning a whole movie, but I would have to time it around her nap time and I don't trust her to not act up. Its so hard to walk past the theatre and see all the good movies that are out and not be able to go.

(sigh) I promise I wouldn't get lazy. I would only ask for a few things....if I only had a maid...

Emma, the cats, and helping mommy

I've rather enjoyed this time Emma and I have had just the two of us. And, tho I miss the Navy dearly, I will never disagree that getting out to spend all this time with her has been a real blessing. She is so loving. Yesterday, Bagheera ran outside. I had already had a rough last couple days chasing down escaped animals of all sorts and I felt like I had had enough. As Bagheera ran out, I sunk my shoulders down and sighed. Emma saw me and could tell I was distressed. As I was walking out the door to try and catch the cat, Emma rushed up, pushed me aside and said, "I'll get Bagheera." It was such a kind gesture and the poor child was out there most the morning chasing after her. She was calling her name and trying to woo her. Bagheera was doing her own thing regardless, but when she did jump up on the porch Emma said "Good girl." That's what is funny about the cats and Emma in general. They do their own thing, but Emma will often give them a command and if they happen to coincidentally do the things she's asking them to do, she thinks they are being obedient.

Today, Mowgli was on the counter licking some plates I hadn't yet put in the dishwasher. Emma was sitting on the island across the kitchen and started yelling at him to get down. She said, "Mowgli, get down" several times and then when he finally did jump down she said, "Good boy, Mowg."

I must say, yesterday I felt pretty special that Emma wanted to help me out. She's so kind hearted and very helpful. She always picks up her coloring without being asked and always offers to throw away my trash from meals. She's such a cutie patootie. I would be devastated but mostly very bored with out her.

Eating with Emma and feeding the birds

Couple weeks ago, Jason and Emma and I all went and out and bought some of that white cheddar flavored popcorn to use to feed the birds by the beach. I'm not sure why we decided to do this. It was raining and windy. Jason held an umbrella over Emma as I threw popcorn into the air. Because of the wind, the popcorn came right back at me and landed just a few inches in front of my feet. So I took another piece and wound up like a base ball player and threw it out in the air as hard as I could. This time it went a couple more inches away from my feet. The birds were not interested in coming that close to us. So, after a few more tries, we ended up just dumping the whole bad in a pile and running away, watching the birds fight each other to get to the pile. THAT story doesn't really have anything to do with what I really wanted to say, though. I just wanted to report it because it was funny.

Today, Emma and I went to the gas station for chips to go with our lunch. I bought a bag of that popcorn because I do like to just eat it for myself as well. On the way home, Emma kept saying something that I could not understand. I was starting to get irritated as she was getting irritated with me, too, for not understanding. Finally, we were home and I started making sandwiches, she was still saying the phrase, and it dawned on me she was asking if we were going to feed the birds! I was so impressed with how she had recognized the bag of chips and remembered what we had first used it for. Especially since it was raining the day we fed the birds she did not really have anything to do with it. She was just hiding out under the umbrella.

It should be noted at this time that we do not have a kitchen table presently. I had let a friend borrow it while I was in AZ, and we are still waiting to get it back. So, I usually eat on the couch over a movie at lunch. But today I had to be out of the house after lunch so I decided to pull up the bean bag and eat with Emma at her little tikes table. Halfway through eating, Emma, in her usual behavior, sat down in her little chair and pulled the table towards her rather than scoot closer to the table. So, I was forced to scoot my bean bag closer to the table in order to keep eating. Emma watched me do this with out standing up, I just scooted closer. She got a little grin on her face, scooted her chair backwards and then pulled the table towards her again. So, I scooted closer to the table. Then she started laughing and did it again. Well, by then it was a game. We scooted around the dining room like that while I was trying to eat my chips until I got tired of it and being fearful of knocking the drinks over, I finally just held onto the legs of the table with my legs and finished eating. Emma tried pulling the table a few times and since it wouldn't budge it ended up knocking her chair over and she face planted in the floor. We both got a good laugh about the whole incident.

Emma....what can I say?

Emma has been so funny lately and really showing how smart she is. The other night I was playfully chasing her around the house to get her ready for bed. She ran back and forth from her room, to mine and back and about the third time running into her room she shut the door behind her right in my face. I was so shocked that she thought to do that by way of slowing me down. I was impressed.

Today, she threw a ball in the house and the dog I'm pet sitting went after it almost stepping on my DVD player which was plugged into the wall. I asked Emma to move the DVD player closer to the wall so it didn't get stepped on. Slightly confused, but still smart, Emma went and tried to unplug the player from the player end. When she couldn't do that, she went to the plug on the wall and unplugged it from there and brought the whole thing to me. (Yes, mom, I realize that is a run-on sentence) I was so amazed that she not only knew how to unplug it from the player but also that when that didn't work she figured something else out. What a smarty pants.

This afternoon I was playing my violin. Emma likes to dance to any kind of music but she always wants to wear a skirt when she dances. So, she asked me if she could put on a skirt. I told her to go to her room and get one. I played for a little bit longer and suddenly it dawned on me that she had not come back and it was very quiet when I wasn't playing. (another run-on) So, I went to see what she was doing. She and the dog were in her room with the door closed and Emma was in BED, of all things. I laughed and asked her if she was going to go to sleep. She said yes. So, I changed her diaper and laid her back down.

During her nap, Jason called so I went out on the porch to talk to him. An hour later we were still talking on the porch. Emma came around from the other side of the porch, having woken up from her nap and carrying a skirt in her hand. lol It was like she had gone to get the skirt and realized she was tired so she decided to nap first. It was so funny. If only she had slept longer than an hour.

My special date

Jason told me he wanted to take me on a surprise date. I didn't know when it would happen, but extra time and money presented it's self last Sunday. He gave me some hints. Some of them turned out to be bogus once we got to the place. He's always been upset that I guessed his "GREAT" surprise back when we were dating. He told me he had a gift for me and after one minuscule clue I guessed that it was an electric white violin. I had only mentioned to him once that I had wanted one and he had never indicated he would ever get me one so he couldn't believe I had guessed it. Since then, he has realized that I'm very good at guessing surprises and he has stopped trying to surprise me.

So, for my surprise on Sunday he gave me a few bogus clues to throw me off. We had to go across the water on the ferry to get there. And can I just say that Jason and I have always had a lot of fun when we take the ferry together. It was dreary and rainy, but we made the best of it in our cowboy get up, goofing off in the car.

Two hours after leaving the house, Jason pulled up to an old silver barn with a sign that said "Pottery," set back into the woods on some property. This was funny because I had guessed sculpting pottery on the way. It was something we had talked about doing before. Jason is very good at pottery. His dad made a living doing it and taught the trade to him. He had told me my guess was wrong.

I was excited to be doing it. Jason showed me how to get the clay ready and how to try and sculpt something. I tried several attempts at a few bowls and then thought about what I could use around the house. I needed something to hold some extra pens and paperclips so I started to try and make one of those. 5 balls of clay later I was getting no where. Jason helped me configure a bowl that looked more like a chips and salsa dish so I thought that was cool and kept it like that. Then I tried another one more by myself. It didn't look like what I was wanting so Jason shaped it out better for me. It was really neat seeing him work something first hand with the clay and times with his dad that he has always talked about doing before he joined the Navy.

It was a really neat date. It was neat that he thought of it on his own and planned it out. He did a great job planning it too. It went very smooth, unlike several of my plans that I had surprised him with. It was a very special time just the two of us.

Amadeus

It is interesting watching Amadeus play. I have a rug in the living room which is his domain. He doesn't like to walk on the hardwood floor so I never worry about where he is. He gets so excited anytime he gets to come out and play. He hops in the air, kicking his legs and twisting around. Sometimes Mowgli stalks him and they play together. This afternoon Amadeus was sitting under the rocking chair. Bagheera came up to the end of the rug and sat down. She started to sniff the rug with out getting on the rug. Amadeus noticed she was there and burst out from under the chair at full speed towards her. He stopped at the edge. They sniffed each other and then she ran off.

Emma absolutely loves Amadeus. He is the first things she talks about in the morning. She carries him around all day. He is so patient with her and lets her comb him on her table, take him to her bed with her, and carry him to and fro about the house.

Emma has gotten pretty good at getting him in and out of his cage. The other morning she was going to get him out and she put her hand too close to his food and he bit her hand. It didn't draw blood but it was enough to scare her to tears. She cried out and I went to see what had happened. She looked back at Amadeus, her friend, with the saddest eyes like she had just been betrayed by her best friend. I sat down to cuddle with her and kiss her owie. But, even still, in mid-cry Emma whimpered "Bunny out?"

I was suddenly reminded of God's forgiveness as I saw this little girl, betrayed by someone she loved and in the mist of the hurt, not only immediately forgave him, but wanted to be with him again. This was a perfect picture of God's love and forgiveness towards us.

I got the bunny out for her. She stopped crying the moment he was in her arms again and she carried on the rest of the day as if he had not pained her.

I learned a great lesson from this.

My little girl's growing up

Emma's not just a baby who sits in her swing anymore. She's not the crawler learning to stand. She's not just a toddler speaking her first words. Emma is turning into her very own person. She's creating a personality. She's speaking sentences and even paragraphs. She's learning faster than I can teach her. Her imagination is running wild. She's creating make believe games that I didn't remember playing until I was much older.

They say you love every stage your child is in. And that is true. I thought it was the neatest thing when Emma rolled over, stood up for the first time, and started saying "Daddy". But those are small feats compared to the skills she's pulling off these days.

I love Emma's speech right now. She says everything backwards. The end of the sentence comes first. So you have to really listen. The other day she went off on a run-on sentence about her nap. We were on our way to walmart and she must have been tired because she started going off about naps and mommy reading her a book. It was so neat to listen to her first real "paragraph".

Yesterday, Jason and I said, "Get your shoes, we're going bye-bye." So, she got her shoes and sat down on the kitchen floor where we were standing and she said, "Walmart?" Jason and I just looked at each other amazed. We've never mentioned Walmart to her specifically before. We've always said we were going to the store or just going shopping. But, she picked up that Walmart was not only a name she hears often (because we go almost every day) but also that it was the store we shopped at and not just another word. I was just so amazed. In a year I'll look back and think this is a small feat. But today, it's amazing and I'm so proud of how my little girl is growing up. I feel like I should be teaching her algebra for fear if I don't her genius mind will go to waste. Maybe after she learns her numbers I'll get right on that.

If you don't have anything nice to say...

I can't remember if it was my mom or Thumper who taught me that "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Today, I could use some encouragement. I have a good life. I shouldn't even begin complaining. I have a husband who loves me and caters to all my needs no matter how small or great. I have the cutest, happiest, smartest little daughter anyone could ask for. She gives me a run for my money, but what fun would I have if she didn't? I have all the pets that I could ask for and have asked for. This alone should make me happy every day because if you know me at all, you know that sometimes I prefer animals even over people.

But, none the less, from time to time, I wake up feeling like not only my stresses, but the stresses of the family, and even the stresses of the WORLD! are upon me. (If I may succumb to exaggeration)

I have to admit that even with the rare knowledge and faith that I have to know that there is a Higher Being who would gladly take all these stresses from me, I find I do not turn to Him. I often feel like since I haven't turned to him in thanks and glad tidings of the good things in my life, I shouldn't go to Him with my worries. That is not fair to Him. No one wants a friend like that, though, we all want a friend like Jesus.

"What specifically is wrong?" you might ask. I have a problem...because I DO have my faults. (family humor) It's the kind of problem I keep to myself for fear that if I were to tell anyone, family and friends would be lost. Because rare is the friend or family member alike who won't simply judge one for their faults, rather than help them.

This problem weighs on me so deep. Which also makes me wonder...can a matter of weight actually be referred to as deep? But I digress. This matter weighs on me so much that it makes me wake up from the sleep I never had, grumpy from the sleep I never had, and short of patience from the grumpiness from the sleep I never had whilst awake. In short and aside from a play on words, I fear my family and friends get the worst of all this.

So, I guess this blog posting is mostly for those that I've been short with in the last few months. If I forgot to call you on a special day, if I spoke hastily with out thought of your feelings, if I acted strangely, if I acted selfishly, if I yelled the first time of an offense from lack of patience, if I went to bed with out loving you first, if I slammed you because I'm angry at myself, or if I out and out am not pleasant to be around, I beg you your forgiveness. Please be patient with me while I figure myself out. It might be a long time before I come through because I'm not used to doing things on my own. I ask my dad or my husband "what should I do?" And then I do what they suggest because I know that they are wiser than I.

I've tried to get help from numerous sources. But the doors are all closed. And when one door was open, there was no answer on the inside. But, I know the prayer door is always open and as soon as I can drop my pride and actually ask for help from the one and only Person who can help me, I might be grumpy a lot. And I'll be short of patience and quick to speak mean things because my heart is bitter. So, I beg you all to bare with me. I don't want to hurt anyone. If I could go away and deal with this on my own I would do it in an instant. But that's not how God wants me to deal with this test, so please, don't write me off until my trial is complete.

I'm an animal lover...So sue me

I love animals. So, I have a lot of them. They inhabit in and around my home because it makes me and my family happy. My house will always be a little dirtier. At night my cat, Bagheera, sleeps by my head. It's her special time of the day to get attention. Every morning my other cat, Mowgli, sits on my chest waiting to be pet. He purrs and squints his eyes like he's never loved anyone more. Some nights my husband and I entertain ourselves laughing hardily at my rabbit, Amadeus, who playfully jumps in our laps, kicks sideways in the air and harasses the cat's tail. Mr. Darcy, the chinchilla, was a surprise gift from my husband. He gave us a fun afternoon searching for him the other day after he had escaped from his cage.

Yes, I have cat hair to clean off the bed. Yes, I cleaned up rabbit pee today and yes, I've been trailing chinchilla poop from his escape. But that is what I do. That is something I will never mind doing for the sake of my pets. It brings me such joy to see Emma wake up and first thing in the morning wanting to play with the bunny. When we come home from being gone, Mowgli greets us at the door and Emma says, "Hi, Mowg." She is learning responsibility already learning to clean litter and feed the animals. When Jason is deployed Bagheera knows I'm lonely and spends extra time with me. Emma and I love our pets! My husband supports us. Next to join us will be a Great Dane/German Shepherd mix puppy. We are so excited about this! So, please, excuse my fur and if you don't think you can then don't visit me. I really do try my best to keep up with all the standards of what a "clean" house should be, but at the end of the day that's not who I am. I'm not a germ freak and I'm not scared of a little fur. I'm an animal lover! So sue me.

Vacuums and life

I'm so thankful to have a strong man behind my weak emotions. Kirby graced us with their presence today. I have to admit, I wasn't that impressed. It definitely picked up more dirt than my vacuum. It had some cool attachments which included leaf blower, painter, and door crack cleaner outer. But, I've never been cleaning my house and thought, boy, I sure with I had an attachment on my vacuum that would clean out these door crevices. I just get some ammonia water and scrub it down. Kirby salesman get you with their stories about wanting to win a trip to Vegas or needing to sell a certain amount to get promoted but mostly they spend all that time getting the vacuum out and cleaning your house that you feel bad making them put it back in the box. Plus they spend so much time working with your financial budget. I felt so sorry for the salesman who was trying to earn money for college and had to work so much he didn't hardly get to eat. I would have had myself a new unwanted Kirby vacuum if it wasn't for Jason. I pulled him back into our room and told him I didn't really want the vacuum and so he took care of all the dirty work telling them the bad news. I wish I could have had some place to go while the guy was packing up the vacuum and mentioning how much he hated having to do that. We gave him $60 for his time. Although, I will also admit that I LOVED their mattress/comforter attachment. It cleaned the cat hair and dust mites so well! My comforter looked as good as new. If I could have just bought that one part that would have been great.

When it was all said and done, I looked back at my dirt devil advertised for pet hair, on sale for $39.99 and I was happy to have it. I only have three rugs in the house to vacuum anyway, and I am quite satisfied with my swiffer on the hardwood floors.

And speaking of vacuums, I got to looking at all the work that still needed done around the house. Emma is so willing to help, but her help is not helpful really. I feel like she leaves more messes the more she tries to help. But I do try to find things she can do to feel helpful because it gives her so much joy. We all know I've missed the Navy, but I have to admit it's nice knowing when I go to bed that whatever I didn't get cleaned or what ever Emma messed up right before bed I can clean first thing in the morning. And then when Emma gets up we eat breakfast together. Emma plays while I pick up the house and then we both rest. When she wakes up we play together until Daddy gets home. Spending all this time with the cutest baby ever is such a blessing! I wouldn't give it up for the world.

What an imagination!

Just when I thought Emma was going to take a break from learning and growing and let me catch up emotionally, she charges on even further. It seems like overnight her imagination has grown wild. She is doing and saying things that I swear she had to have thought up on her own and it makes her seem so grown up. She has started giving everyone nick names. Mowgli is Mow. Bagheera is Pun which is actually short for Punkin which is what I call her. Jason is Babe or Baby. (We are trying to break her of that lol) and Josh Craig is Joshey (which he hates lol) Bella is Bell. It amazed me because we never use those nick names except for Bell.

She has also started playing house with her stuffed animals. The other day she went in the bathroom and brought out her potty chair (which she still refuses to use) and set it in the living room. Then she got one of her bears and sat him on it and turned to me and said, "Bear going potty." Then she went into the bathroom and brought out her stool. She put the bear on the stool and turned to me and said, "Bear getting changed." I tried to give her a play diaper to use but it looked too different from the diapers she's used to and she didn't want it. Yesterday, however, she did try to put one of Bella's diapers on one of Bella's bears. It was so cute! Tried to get a video of it...maybe next time. I look forward to what other fun things she will think of playing next. I remember loving to play house or play games with my play animals. I didn't think Emma would have the imagination for it until she was much older. But she fooled me.